Have you ever found yourself comparing your relationship to ones you see on social media?
You see a couple post a picture and they look obnoxiously in love. Ugh.
Then you start scanning your relationship and wonder why you don't feel as in love as they look! And you worry that you're with the "wrong" person since you're not constantly gushing over each other like this couple on Facebook.
OR you see that a couple has broken up! What?! They seemed so happy. How could they break up?
And your mind starts racing and scanning your relationship to see if there's any similarities to this couple that might lead to your own break up.
This comparison seems to all happen in an instant, without your control!
Next thing you know, you're panicked. Your body is filled with anxiety. And you start to believe that you really have to leave your relationship.
WHHHHYYYYY do we do this??
Why does this happen every time you open up social media?
Well, I'm so glad you asked!
There are 2 reasons why you're comparing your relationship to others:
FIRST - You learned somewhere in life that you have to look outside of yourself for standards of what is acceptable and okay. You learned that you can't trust your own choices, judgments, and decisions and that who you are and what you choose is not acceptable. And so, you had to look to others to know what was acceptable.
When it comes to your relationship, you look to the external standards you see on social media.
And if your relationship doesn't look like what you see, you believe that there must be something wrong with your relationship and - therefore - something wrong with you.
So you obsessively try to make sure that your relationship meets all these external standards, or else your relationship is not acceptable. Not okay.
SECOND - Your mind is always scanning for what could go wrong, for any potential threat. Your biggest fear is being in the wrong relationship or having to leave your relationship, so you see the world through the lens of this fear.
That's why when you see that someone else has gone through a break up, your mind goes a million miles a minute to see if your relationship is in danger.
Your mind goes on overdrive to see if there could be ANY POSSIBLE reason to break up so that you can avoid this potential pain.
And of course, your BODY is responding as if you actually ARE in danger and that there really is something wrong with you and your relationship.
If this is you, I know exaaaaactly how you feel.
I had to learn to trust my decision to be with my partner and that it was OKAY for my relationship to not look like anyone else's.
I also had to learn IN MY BODY that I was safe, even when others around me were going through break ups.
I had to learn and KNOW that their story is not my story.
I had to know how to turn toward myself instead of others for approval and acceptance and create my own standards of what a healthy relationship looks like.
And now, I teach my clients how to do this so that they can feel solid in their relationships instead of constantly comparing!
My clients learn that they can be empowered in their choice to be with their partner, even if it looks NOTHING like what they see on social media.
If you're stuck in the comparison trap and you're ready to feel confident in your relationship with your loving partner, then apply to work with us at Healing Embodied by scheduling a 30-minute Relationship Anxiety Assessment below!
In this assessment, we'll identify what's blocking you from being able to fully embrace your relationship and you'll learn how we can support you in being able to not give a #$&% about what you see on social media!
Apply to work with us HERE!